what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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