Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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