And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
