that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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