and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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