"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize