Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize
