i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
