This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i love accidental penises.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
