READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
