the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
