does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
