3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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