But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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