She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize