we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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