I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It was a blind-side dick pic.
A bitchslap is in order.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
