just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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