Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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