Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize