Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
