this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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