I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
