they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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