I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
