let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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