Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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