So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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