I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
