You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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