ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Let's get the cat blown out
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
