he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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