That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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