Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
