Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
