i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
