At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
