But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
pop tarts are not kleenex
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
