Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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