What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Where is the hickey?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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