Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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