Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
