You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
