dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
