carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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