So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
