i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize