Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We talked him into tasing himself.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
