I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
