Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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