i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
