I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
