forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
