I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Im part way to drunk.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize