I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
