So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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