I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
