When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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