i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
