He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
