You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
