Don't you send me to vm
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize