Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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