i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
